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Sandra's avatar

This post really hit home with me. Since loosing my husband I just don’t have the energy or stamina to do things, but my brain keeps making lists and plans. When I don’t accomplish them I am hard on myself.

My newest attempt at improving my mental health is not making plans or lists but creating “options”. This week an option is to clean my spice cupboard among other things. When it’s an option I am less likely to be upset if I don’t do it. Do what works for your heart and mind. You have to be your best cheerleader!

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Linda McLachlan's avatar

This is so true Sandra. Sometimes finding the wins amongst the losses of not getting the long list done is all I can manage. I like the 'optional list' -- great idea. Sometimes I get a burst and am surprised by my progress. Have you ever tried 'body doubling'? Finding a Zoom group or a long-form video where the group is all working independently/ but together? I have a morning writing group that I "meet with" daily. It's an appointment of sorts. Sometimes I am more or less successful. I was surprised yesterday to get a post done during our writing time despite my distracted brain when we started. I have also used the 'body doubling' in decluttering my house. Five minutes count -- in whatever you're trying to do. Progress is progress. And, sometimes I give myself grace. This past week of the time change impacted me more than before. No idea why. I had difficulty getting out of bed at my usual time and felt the fog of a headache all week. So my body needed more rest, I let it rest. My body needed different nutrition, I gave it more fresh fruits, vegetables and a few B vitamins. I can feel my lethargy lifting. Sending you lots of love as you grieve and find your way. It is ultimately YOUR way. Pick and choose what works there is no right way to do any of it. xoxo

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Gary Spangler's avatar

As a poorly paced retiree, Linda, thinking in 7-day stretches is a gargantuan task! If it weren’t for my phone calendar, I’d simply spend weeks at a time entangled.

“How are you staying on track these days?” you gently asked. On this side of the border that his orangeness plans to redraw (with hurricane guidance Sharpies), this subject of the King is flailing about a bit. On any given day or moment I’m saddened for deportees and those locked up with their destination yet to be revealed. Other days I’m enraged at the non-thinkers that voted in this bloody tyrant to eviscerate and remove all the good that once existed. Not fairytale good; more a matter of decency. Do unto others guidance.

Evenings afford the opportunity to learn from a wise woman that offers brief sessions to either focus on the breath, gratitude, or both. Short sessions but for this unstudied fellow I just keep believing that one can teach an old dog new tricks.

Not so long ago the Rock group, Journey, sang “Don’t Stop Believin’” A far better plan than surrender. Thanks Linda for your confession/inspiration post!

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Linda McLachlan's avatar

My heart breaks for all of us. I say us because we are all caught in the outer rings of this hurricane of chaos. Your workshop sounds wonderful -- good for the soul. The reality is my weeks mostly involve the 'work days' but I try to be productive in small ways throughout the week. I blared "Don't Stop Believin'" in the heat of the summer during one of my longest runs. It is definitely go-to when the going gets rough. Hang in there. I do believe in the (self-) determination of the American people.

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Gary Spangler's avatar

I can picture you on that long, mid-summer run! Don’t stop indeed.

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Diane Osgood's avatar

Great line: I’ve lost another week to frittering, scrolling, and frantically doing nothing.

I wonder how much of that is real (definitely the scrolling part) vs perception (doing nothing). I'm paying attention to my own dialogue re tasks, to-do lists, accomplishments. My storyteller isn't always kind to me in her interpretation of events...

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Linda McLachlan's avatar

"My storyteller isn't always kind to me in her interpretation of events..." Ain't that the truth! Perception is all. I am happy to bulldoze what I have accomplished in my race to do what I think I must. More vitamin B for me. Books and the actual vitamin. :0)

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Linda McLachlan's avatar

Oh, I will have to dip into that! Thank you!!

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