The Lie of the Week
What Might Have Been
Standing atop the week, a fine Monday morning, the seven-day horizon seems vast. Such a lovely stretch before I must accomplish anything significant. It feels luxurious.
This is a lie, of course.
Distractions dislodge my rickety, optimistic stack of tasks and ideas. I tumble down the slope of indecision. Monday is already lost.
Tuesday’s reset becomes, “Now I only have 6 days left.” My runaway week builds momentum. I try to plan on the fly. The plan flies away.
Wednesday — the slipperiest. The midweek hump propells me toward Friday.
Thursday is for philosophising about what might have been. Promises made in the middle of the night do little for me during the day.
Hurltling toward the weekend, the remaining days are discounted — Friday, the semi-weekend, feels hardly worth the effort. Saturday and Sunday are unserious. Free passes from earnest effort.
I’ve lost another week to frittering, scrolling, and frantically doing nothing. My days of scrambling and reactive hyperactivity. My few accomplishments are dwarfed by a desire to do more.
I know that if I exchange ‘days’ with ‘weeks’ and ‘weeks’ with ‘months’ then indeed, years begin slipping by.
Climbing the ladder of my aspirations is my only recourse. I reset and begin again. I can do better.
I will.
How are you staying on track these days?
This post really hit home with me. Since loosing my husband I just don’t have the energy or stamina to do things, but my brain keeps making lists and plans. When I don’t accomplish them I am hard on myself.
My newest attempt at improving my mental health is not making plans or lists but creating “options”. This week an option is to clean my spice cupboard among other things. When it’s an option I am less likely to be upset if I don’t do it. Do what works for your heart and mind. You have to be your best cheerleader!
As a poorly paced retiree, Linda, thinking in 7-day stretches is a gargantuan task! If it weren’t for my phone calendar, I’d simply spend weeks at a time entangled.
“How are you staying on track these days?” you gently asked. On this side of the border that his orangeness plans to redraw (with hurricane guidance Sharpies), this subject of the King is flailing about a bit. On any given day or moment I’m saddened for deportees and those locked up with their destination yet to be revealed. Other days I’m enraged at the non-thinkers that voted in this bloody tyrant to eviscerate and remove all the good that once existed. Not fairytale good; more a matter of decency. Do unto others guidance.
Evenings afford the opportunity to learn from a wise woman that offers brief sessions to either focus on the breath, gratitude, or both. Short sessions but for this unstudied fellow I just keep believing that one can teach an old dog new tricks.
Not so long ago the Rock group, Journey, sang “Don’t Stop Believin’” A far better plan than surrender. Thanks Linda for your confession/inspiration post!