Upsizing Possibility After a Year of Striving

Releasing Deliberate

I picture my mental state like this some days.

Photo by Linda McLachlan of her stuff.

I work hard to accept what others see in me rather than destroy their compliments with my distorted self-image.

The unfinished business, random boxes that are overflowing with my best-of-intentions, and yet-to-be-finished attempts at downsizing and minimalism. I cling to the things in my life that will ‘someday maybe’ be useful.

They weigh me down. I don’t need them. I don’t need the self-talk that tears at me. I don’t need the expectations that I can never meet. I don’t need the values that I don’t espouse.

Closing the door on all the loose ends gives me temporary peace.  But sometimes, they spill into the hallway in expectant piles, crowding my life.

My word for 2023 was ‘Deliberate’ — it feels hard and purpose-driven. Perhaps that was what I needed at the end of 2022, a year punctuated by grief and depression. I needed a word then to get me moving and focused.

For 2024, I choose ‘Possibility’ — it feels graceful and optimistic — gratefully letting what will come after a year of striving.

There are no true ‘after photos’ in my life.

So much is a daily process of discovery and acceptance, of progress and regression. My daily practices give me the muscle memory of peace when I have none and words when I am bereft.

Possibility brings hope; my sunrise for the year.

Photo by Paul Kowal