These were my thoughts as I deleted LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook from my phone about a week before I headed out on my backcountry canoe trip with my brother.
If it gets too challenging, I won’t be able to scroll on to soothe me or distract me. What will I do instead?
Feel the tension, if there is any; feel my sadness and anxiety. Bear down and be with it. Stare into the fire. Breathe in the fresh air. Listen to the birds and the wind rustling tall trees. Listen to the water caressing the sides of the canoe. Experience the joy of silence, a respite from manufactured noise.
Scrolling and checking the apps is like what pouring a drink used to give me: easing my anxiety, boredom, frustration, and feelings of unworthiness. I distract my mind with memes, outrage and comparison. There’s rarely inspiration or laughter. I chase those infrequent social and emotional connections down the rabbit hole.
Social media is sugar for the mind. It gives me racing thoughts; a little is never enough. Each day, I want more and more until my heart pounds and my body can’t process it. I find myself without enthusiasm for once-meaningful things.
I crave the slow food of curiosity, inquiry and silence.
I detoxed on those quiet lakes. What a gift. What did I miss? Nothing—nothing that matters.
The physical tests of the backcountry were affirming. As I plodded through the mud, I was reminded, “I can do this” rather than “I can’t keep up.” How little one needs from day to day to feel comforted—a cup of hot tea, cozy socks, a glorious sunset, the mocking cry of loons.
I hope, like alcohol, I don’t tell myself that I can ‘handle it’ and fully reconnect. I hear myself more clearly and can better set boundaries around interacting with the world.
Silence can be found when we are intentional.
How do you find silence in this noisy world?
What a gift that experience was for you. And the addictive nature of our devices is all too real. Getting out into natural spaces is a healing balm for so much of our stress, loneliness, negativity. Good for you for pulling the plug!
Sugar for the mind.... it certainly is. And we operate better on whole grains of nature. While my analogy really doesn't work, there is something about nurishement for our nervous system, soul and creative processes. And now my turn, to disconnect for 12 days. Going on holiday for first time wihtout my lap top for as long as I remember!