I was halfway through a 10 km training run on a stifling day last summer.
Struggling to convince myself to get out the door, I battled my mind to complete it, kilometre after kilometre. Training for a half marathon, I wondered why on earth I thought I wanted to achieve that distance (21.1km) when I could hardly finish this run.
I glanced too frequently at my watch and trudged only a few more metres, recalculating how much further I had to go. I ran like an unmotivated employee eyeing the clock, willing it to tick faster. I ‘had to’ do this exercise and hated myself for it.
The latter half of my route took me past the Juravinski Cancer Hospital. I saw two wheelchair-bound women parked on the sidewalk. One of them looked up and said, “I wish I could do that.” Immediately choked by tears, I was unable to respond. I felt ashamed to resent the gift of running. Managing a smile, I straightened up and raised my hand to wave.
As I ran on, my energy and purpose surged. Beyond just getting my training done, I ran because I could and for those who could not.
I try not to take my health for granted. I've taken many rides on the weight loss and fitness rollercoaster, but old mindsets of “have to” and “don’t wanna” creep back into my consciousness. I must actively resist them.
One day, too soon, running a marathon, conquering the West Coast Trail, or white water rafting the Colorado River will be out of reach. They will be dreams from a different time in life. I want to ensure I have done as much as possible while I’m able.
I experience the pain of my long runs no less than before. But sometimes, I remind myself of those women on the sidewalk to rein in my complaining mind. One day, too soon I’ll say, “I wish I could do that.”
How, like Time, will you spend your Health?
Gosh, what a super post - you really made me think today, Linda! Thank you. I'm a little behind on my reading, and I'm so glad to have landed on these three posts of yours which I've missed. 😘
What a fabulous post. Thank you for sharing and reminding me that my health is in my hands.